I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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