i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
And then he peed in my hair
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
