Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
