This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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