This girl is more easily done than said...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
