Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket