if i can run in heels then i can drive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.