and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.