Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.