Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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