I'm going to rape someone's good day.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
