ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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