i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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