you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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