Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
