he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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