Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
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Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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