ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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