My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
