I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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