No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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