Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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