I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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