My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
