so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize