Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
