I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize