There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
