The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
