We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize