I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize