I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize