i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
