He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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