It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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