u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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