I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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