Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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