we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
