what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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