Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
