apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
