She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
