I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
