Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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