Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
