Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
