I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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