batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
