i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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