Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
