She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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