Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
