In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize