Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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