I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
