i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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