So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
