Kiss
Puke
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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