Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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