I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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