Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
