Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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