It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Are my feet made of real feet?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
